Defending Your Heart: A Friends to Lovers Hockey Romance (Rules of the Game Book 2) Read online

  Would Rose and Cora be trying to ruin my relationship? It doesn’t make sense. I doubt it. I’m overcome with fatigue and confusion. “I don’t know.”

  Marcus pulls me into his arms and lays me back on the bed, so we’re face-to-face next to each other. He cups my face in his hands. “I love you, Alex. You’re the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with. Please don’t let a kiss with an old friend ruin everything we’ve built.”

  His hands feel soothing on my cheeks, his masculine woodsy scent familiar. But this doesn’t sit right with me. Kissing someone like that is cheating to me.

  “Let’s sleep. You seem like you need rest and I know I do, too. We’ll talk in the morning.” He pulls me tight, our bodies pressed together.

  I don’t say anything but lie awake until his breathing becomes even. I roll over, curl up, and start to cry. An uneasy nagging in my belly is telling me to keep my guard up.

  A slight orange glow lights the room. I open my eyes and rub at the corners, sore from tears shed last night. Marcus is still asleep fully dressed, lying on top of the covers as if he hasn’t moved all night. It’s Saturday. I’m relieved that I don’t have to work today.

  It’s still early. He won’t be up for quite some time. He always sleeps in the day after he comes home from being on the road. I, on the other hand, will be up for the day. I slept for hours yesterday and went to bed early last night.

  I have to clear my head.

  Easing myself off the bed, I pull some gym clothes out of my dresser and go to the bathroom to change and wash up.

  Grabbing a banana and my purse, I get out of the house as fast as I can. On the off chance Marcus wakes up and sees that I’m not in bed, I don’t want him getting up to try and talk to me.

  There’s no traffic this morning and the gym is only a ten minute drive from the house. I’m here in record time. Mercifully, there aren’t many cars in the parking lot. I’ll be able to get on any piece of equipment I want without the crowds that show up later in the morning.

  Once inside, I put my earbuds in and crank some Lawless, my favorite band. I get on the treadmill and increase the speed until my feet are pounding and my heart rate speeds up. I’m sweating in no time and all I’ve thought about are the lyrics to my favorite songs. I run for thirty minutes and get off to go to the free weight area.

  The room is fairly quiet, but I’m surprised to see Cole Shaw—one of Marcus’s teammates—working out on a leg press machine. The team has a gym with a sports doc. One of his knees is in an Ace wrap; despite that he’s pressing several weight plates on each side.

  Cole plays defense and is on Marcus’s line. He’s very aggressive on the ice, a stark contrast to his behavior off. Sure, he’s tall and muscular, but he’s quiet and reserved. In the few conversations I’ve had with him, he seems to put a great deal of thought into what he says, like he’s deep and intuitive. He’s well-respected and liked by his teammates, too.

  Would it be too much to ask him what he knows about Marcus? Probably. I know the guys are like a band of brothers. But he seems so genuine and thoughtful. I don’t know what else to do.

  I make my way over to the machine he’s on and stop in front of it. “Hey,” I say.

  Pulling his earbuds out, he stands up next to me. “Hey, Alex. How are you?”

  Cole’s in a royal blue T-shirt and shorts. He’s sweating and his shirt hugs the muscles of his toned shoulders and chest. He has dark hair and the Wolverines hat he’s wearing is turned backward. His gray eyes are highlighted by the color of his shirt. He’s a nice-looking man. “I’m not doing great. That’s why I was hoping to talk to you.”

  He leans in with his gaze focused. “Sure. What’s wrong?”

  Looking around the gym, I notice a couple of guys close by staring at us. “Maybe not here. It’s personal.”

  “Okay.” He lowers his voice. “I have a few things to do, but I’ll be home around noon. If you want to stop by, you can.” He gives me his address. I know the neighborhood.

  Being this close to him now, one on one without anyone else around, he seems older, more mature than some of the other guys on the team. Marcus is thirty, but Cole has a baby face, I’m sure he’s younger. Having his undivided attention feels good, comforting somehow. “That would be great. Thank you.”

  I’m not sure if what I’m doing is the best idea, but I’m going to do it anyway.

  Two

  Cole

  I know why Alex wants to talk to me. And I’m probably crazy to have invited her over to my house, but her fiancé is a grade-A asshole. He doesn’t deserve a good woman like Alex. Normally I mind my own business, until she walked up to me with red-rimmed eyes and a pout on her lips.

  There’s zero chance I’ll lie for him. Sure, we’re on the same team and when we’re on the ice, I’ll defend him. But off, he’s not my responsibility. He’s messing with this woman’s life by fucking around on her. It’s unacceptable.

  I’ve had a few conversations with her at team functions. She’s very beautiful, but beyond the superficial, she’s kind, warm, and an attentive listener. It seems that she’s found the perfect career as a pediatrician, since she is quite attentive to other people’s feelings. Marcus doesn’t deserve her.

  After a quick shower, I throw a steak on the grill and grab a beer. I’m anticipating seeing Alex and it makes me edgy. This is going to hurt her and it gives me a sinking feeling in my gut. Dealing with anyone’s emotions is not my strong suit.

  A car pulls up out front and the sound of the door closing gets my attention.

  I make my way to the side yard and meet her before she goes to the front porch. “Hey, I’m grilling out back.”

  “Thanks for seeing me. I hate to disrupt your day,” she says before she throws her thin arms around me. My muscles stiffen slightly because I don’t normally do hugs, but I will for her. She’s going to need it.

  We pull apart and I point her toward the backyard. She’s gorgeous, even in her gym clothes, hair pulled back into a ponytail, and no makeup on. And she smells so good, like sunshine and flowers. I shouldn’t be checking her out. She’s sad and vulnerable, yet here I am noticing the perfect curve of her ass in her workout pants and fullness of her lips. I have to stop being such a creep. “You’re not disrupting anything. Why don’t you have a seat?” I point to a lawn chair next to the grill.

  Alex sits down and crosses her legs in front of her. “I can’t tell you how much I appreciate you talking to me. This might be a little awkward, but I didn’t know what else to do.”

  “Do you need a beer? I have some out here.” She looks like she needs it. Her shoulders are tense and she keeps biting her bottom lip.

  “Yeah, that’d be great.”

  I go to my cooler and pull out a beer and hand it to her. “Why don’t you tell me what’s up?”

  She pops open the cap of the can and takes a sip. “It’s about Marcus. I saw a picture of him kissing a woman at a party last weekend. Were you there at Mike Delaney’s house?”

  “I was there,” I tell her and lift the lid of the grill, flipping my steak over.

  “Did you notice if he was with another woman?” She bites on her lip again.

  Taking the seat across from her, I set my beer on the end table next to me. “I did notice that.”

  She starts blinking, over and over again. Shit. She’s going to cry. “Did they kiss?” she asks, her voice breaking on the last word.

  Yes. And he was all over her, grabbing her ass, licking her neck. She was practically humping his leg. But Alex doesn’t need the gory details. “Yes.”

  Big green eyes search my face, as if she’s looking straight through me. “Why do I feel like you’re holding back?”

  I stand up and open the top of the grill and pull the meat off and put it on a plate. “What I saw at the party isn’t out of the ordinary for Marcus.” I turn toward her. “When we’re on the road, he brings women back to his room. I’ve had the unfortunate luck of being in the room next
door. More than once. He’s not a good guy, Alex.” I don’t tell her that the fucker has the balls to brag about his conquests during practice.

  Her mouth forms a perfect “O,” but her features are blank. “Wow. I feel like such a fool. How could I not know that he’s capable of this?”

  Because he’s a heartless asshole who’s too blind to see that he had perfection sitting right in front of him. “Alex, you can’t blame yourself for this. What he does is not a reflection on you.”

  Alex stands up and tears are flowing out of her eyes in a stream down her cheeks. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. She looks so small and helpless. I get closer to her and pat her shoulder. It’s a little awkward, but I don’t know what else to do. She sobs louder and turns her body into me. Her head is on my chest now and one of her hands is lying flat next to her face. The fabric of my shirt is getting wet from her tears and her chest is heaving. This is like a hug. The second today. It’s a record for me. I put my arms around her and the crying slows down.

  The poor woman is wrecked.

  What the hell am I supposed to do? Fuck.

  Christ, she smells so good, but what’s better is how good she feels. I rub my hands up and down her back and let her cry. How long has it been since I’ve been this close to a woman—besides a puck bunny? Way too long.

  I can’t let myself get used to this feeling. I’ll never have a woman like Alex. No, she’s sweet and good, right down to her soul. I’d never know how to make someone like her happy. My dad wasn’t a good role model when it came to how one should act around a lady. Not to mention, she’s one hundred percent off limits. It’s an unwritten rule—you don’t date a teammate’s ex.

  She has her face buried in my chest. I can almost rest my chin on the top of her head. Her honey-brown hair is smooth and straight and smells like the rest of her, like the perfect summer day. “It’s going to be okay, Alex.”

  She looks up at me with wet emerald eyes and says, “I know it will, but it still hurts.”

  I wish I knew what to do to take her pain away because I’d do it. “I’m sorry you’re hurting. He’s such an asshole for doing this to you.”

  “Thank you for saying that. And thanks for being honest with me. I know that couldn’t have been easy for you.” She still hasn’t moved her arms; they’re wrapped tightly around me and she’s looking at me like I could move the sun and the stars. My heartbeat kicks up a notch.

  “No. It wasn’t. You wanted the truth and you deserve to know it.”

  There’s a ghost of a smile on her face just before she goes up on her toes and plants a sweet kiss on my cheek. Her lips are soft like velvet and it’s as if I can still feel them there on my skin even after she backs away. “Thank you for being a good man. Unfortunately, I don’t think there are many out there like you. You’re going to make some lucky woman very happy.”

  I give her an awkward, tight-lipped smile and cross my arms in front of my chest. She has no clue what she’s talking about, but I’m not going to tell her that.

  She looks down at her watch and takes a few steps back. “Well, I should let you go enjoy your steak. I’ve taken up enough of your time today.”

  “It wasn’t a problem.” I follow her to her car and we both stand in front of her door.

  “You have no idea how much you helped me today, Cole. I owe you.” She puts her hand on my arm and squeezes it. Damn, just that little touch gives me shivers.

  Nodding, I say, “Glad I could help. And if you need anything, just let me know.”

  The smile she gives me has a genuine glow that lights up her eyes. “You shouldn’t say things like that if you don’t mean it.”

  “I don’t say things I don’t mean,” I tell her. “So don’t hesitate to reach out.”

  She tugs her phone out of her pocket and opens her contacts page. “What’s your number?”

  I’m sure there’s no harm in giving it to her. She already knows where I live. What’s the big deal? So, I give her my number.

  “Okay, I’ll text you mine. Thanks again, Cole,” she says before opening her door and getting inside her car.

  I might be ill-equipped to help Alex out, but I’m okay with trying.

  Only as a friend though.

  Three

  Alex

  The life I thought I was going to have is completely ruined. Everything between Marcus and me is over.

  Cole confirmed what Cora and Rose told me. I can’t stay with him; I have too much self-respect.

  I know what I have to do.

  Pulling into his driveway, I turn the car off and take a few calming breaths. I know this isn’t going to be easy, but after being with Cole and letting him comfort me, my nerves have started to ease. Time to put my big girl pants on and confront the situation.

  Marcus’s Land Rover is in the driveway. I’m sure he’s inside wondering where I am, waiting for me to return. He’s texted me several times, none of which I’ve answered.

  Pulling my shoulders back and chin up, I go inside and head right upstairs to our room taking the bag I packed last night and wheeling it downstairs. Marcus meets me in the kitchen with a confused expression on his face. “What’s going on?”

  I put the suitcase next to the door. “I’m leaving.”

  He steps closer to me but the look on my face must’ve told him to keep his distance. “Where are you going?”

  Removing my engagement ring, I set it on the counter next to me. My stomach rolls into a knot. “This is over between us.” Tears burn the back of my eyes, but I fight for them to stay put. They’ll be plenty of time for crying later. I need to stand my ground now and get this part over with.

  Turning away toward the door, he comes up behind me and grasps my shoulder.

  “Wait, please. Talk to me.” His voice sounds small and defeated.

  Nodding, I turn back toward him. “Sure. We can talk. How about you explain to me why you proposed to me and told me you wanted to spend the rest of your life with me, yet you’re still with other women?” My voice is laced with anger and I glare at him.

  He doesn’t hesitate when he says, “It’s not a big deal. It’s just fun. I love you and want to have kids with you.”

  Clutching the edge of the counter, I open and close my mouth. “So you aren’t denying that you’ve been unfaithful?”

  His eyes widen and I can see his wheels turning. He’d like to backpedal, but it’s too late. Way too late. “I have fun from time to time. But you’re my end game.”

  My chest heaves and my grip tightens on the counter so I don’t slap him in the face. The bastard thinks it’s okay to have road fun and it somehow won’t affect our relationship. How delusional can one person be? “Not anymore.” Once more I turn for the door.

  “Wait. Please stay with me. We can work this out. I can do better.”

  Something about the desperation in his voice has me looking back over my shoulder at him. And for a sad moment my heart wants me to stay. I’m in love with him, but I can’t do this. “I’m leaving now. I’ll never be able to live this way. You travel all the time with the team and now I don’t trust you.”

  Marcus’s frown looks like he’s a little boy I’ve scolded. “You can trust me with your heart. I won’t ever leave you. Isn’t that enough?”

  “Don’t you understand that to me love is loyalty, and trust is the foundation love is built on? You knocked it all down. We’re done, Marcus. I’ll get the rest of my things some other time.”

  This time I grab my suitcase, open the door, and don’t look back.

  Once again, I thank fate that the house I owned before I moved in with Marcus hasn’t sold yet. The entire twenty minute drive to my old place, I let the tears flow.

  I’ve spent so much of my life focused on my education and my career that I wasn’t sure I’d ever have time for a husband and family. When I met Marcus, our whirlwind romance seemed like a fairytale, as if I was going to have my happily ever after. I couldn’t have been more wrong.

>   Now I’m questioning my intuition and myself.

  Pulling up outside of my house, I drag in my suitcase and turn on the lights in the kitchen. A lot of my stuff is still here, including my furniture so the house would show better. I’d only taken my favorite things with me to Marcus’s place, some knickknacks, mugs, a couple pieces of art, and my clothes. There are boxes in the basement we hadn’t moved yet. I go down and look through a few to find exactly what I need. A bottle of vodka. Bringing it up the stairs, I set it on the counter, unscrew it, and take several swallows. The liquid tingles and burns down the back of my throat. I take a cup from the cupboard and pour it half full.

  In the living room, I sit on the couch and put my feet up on the coffee table. My memory pulls me back to when I met Marcus. It was soon after I opened the practice about two years ago. It’d been so much work and I’d spent all of my time getting it ready. Needless to say, I didn’t have a social life.

  There was a charity gala for the new children’s hospital in town. It was a good cause and I knew it’d create goodwill in the community, so I went. Marcus was there and introduced himself. He knew all the right things to say and before I knew it, he swept me off my feet and we were dating.

  With the hours I work and him traveling all the time with the team for games, we didn’t spend as much time together as I would have liked, but the time we did have was quality.

  He wined me and dined me, even though I didn’t need that. I’d have been happy to cook dinner together at home and watch a movie. But Marcus loved to go out and be in the limelight. He’d loved it when a fan would recognize him and come up and ask for pictures or an autograph. I understood that and never complained. He worked hard to make it to the NHL.

  Sure, he liked to go out and spend time with his friends, occasionally going out to bars to blow off steam. And I couldn’t always join him if I had to get up early the next day for work. It was still a busy time for me. My practice was in a massive growth phase and I needed to bring on other doctors to share in the work load. I thought he understood and he would tell me to stay home and get rest. But I never would’ve believed he’d be out picking up other women. A wave of nausea hits me.