Moving On Page 5

  Braeden and I walk out of the restaurant together, his arm around my shoulder. When we get outside, he turns me toward him and kisses me, his tongue pressing against mine. Instantly there’s an ache between my legs. He breaks the kiss far too soon and says, “I’ve wanted to do that the entire time we were in there.”

  “You should’ve sat next to me,” I say.

  “I won’t make that mistake again.” He grabs my hands in his.

  “How do you think that went?” I thought it went great, but I’d like his opinion.

  “Yeah, the food was delicious.”

  I give him a small whack to the arm. “No. You know what I mean. Your brothers. Do they like me? Do you really think they mind that I’m tagging along on your trip?”

  He smirks at me with that damn dimple. He’s so sexy, even when he’s being a smart ass. “They liked you. I could tell. Jackson told me he liked you the day he met you in the café.”

  This makes me giddy. It wasn’t a long meeting that morning, but I remember it well. He made an impression on me. Completely endearing and adorable with a mischievous side. I liked him from the start. “What about Patrick?”

  “I know he’s harder to read, but you’re good with him, too. Trust me. He’s got too much shit on his mind. I’m surprised he even made it on this trip. I’m happy he’s here. Thank you for recommending that we hang out. It’ll be good for us to have some one-on-one time.”

  “Of course. And I need a nap. I’m exhausted, for some reason.”

  He pinches me in the ribs. “If I recall, you were the one that woke me up.”

  I giggle. “That’s why I need sleep.”

  The cab pulls up in front of us and Braeden pulls me in for another heart-stopping kiss. “Mind if I stop by your room later?”

  “Not at all.”

  “Perfect. I’ll see you.” He pats me on the ass as I walk away from him. I look back and he winks at me and flashes me his dimples. Damn. I could get used to seeing those.

  5

  After a long, hot bath, I snuggle into my bed at the hotel and turn my cell phone on. I keep it off unless I have Wi-Fi. With my limited income, I can’t risk extra cell fees.

  Text alerts buzz one after another for a total of thirty. I can’t recall the last time I turned on my phone. There’s a couple from Fiona asking me to call her. And the rest are from Mark. For the first time in a long time, I open his messages to see what he has to say.

  Please call me.

  I can explain.

  I’m sorry.

  I made a mistake.

  Please stop ignoring me.

  If you ever cared for me, please call.

  I stop scrolling through because I know I’ll see more of the same. I loved Mark. I probably still do, but he hurt me. I don’t know where it all went wrong for us. I’m not sure that I’m ready to talk to him. We were close. He was my best friend. I still can’t understand why he would cheat on me and ruin us.

  I check the time and decide my grandmother will be awake. She answers on the second ring.

  “I’ve been waiting to hear from you. How is Ireland?” I love her voice. She doesn’t have much of an accent anymore. She moved to America with her parents when she was eight. There are only a few words she says that you can still detect the accent.

  “Oh, Grandma. It’s so good to hear your voice. I wish you were here with me.”

  “I know. So do I.” She sounds tired, but I know she’ll never admit it.

  “How are you feeling? Are you getting stronger?”

  “Yes. Every day, little by little. Don’t you worry about me.”

  “I can’t help it. You’re the best woman I know.”

  “The feeling is mutual. Now, tell me all about your trip and don’t leave anything out.”

  So, I do just that. I tell her all about my mishaps at the beginning of the trip. And I even fill her in on Braeden. She and I have gone through everything together. She’s like my mother. Even though she’s 68 years old, she’s still one of the most beautiful and sophisticated women I’ve ever met. She always gives me her honest opinion and advice, and she’s always spot on.

  “It sounds like you’re having the time of your life. Your grandfather and I did, too, when we were there in 1980.” I don’t think she’s ever really gotten over the loss of my granddad. It was fourteen years ago when he had the heart attack that killed him.

  “I love hearing your stories.”

  “You’ve heard all of mine. Tell me more about your new friend, Braeden,” she says.

  “He’s been wonderful. I’m enjoying his company.”

  “What are you holding back?” Her tone is accusatory. She knows me better than anyone else.

  “We’re just friends. That’s it. But he is helping me get over Mark.” I leave out the ‘with benefits’ part.

  She’s quiet for a moment. “Mark came to see me. He brought me lunch.”

  I’m not surprised. Mark had a close relationship with my grandmother. He’d always invite her to go out with us to lunch or dinner and to the movies from time to time. I always appreciated how attentive he was to her. “What did he have to say?”

  “That he misses you and that he knows how badly he messed things up. And he wants you back.”

  “He’s mentioned all of that to me as well. I just can’t trust him anymore. What do you think I should do?” I ask.

  “That is completely up to you. I can’t tell you how to feel.” Her voice is soothing. It gives me comfort even when I’m far away from her.

  “I wish you could.”

  She laughs. “The heart wants what the heart wants. Trust your gut and go with that.”

  “Look where it’s gotten me so far.” I huff out a laugh, but there’s no humor in it. Maybe if I’m honest with myself, I can look back and see that there were holes forming in my relationship with Mark. We didn’t spend as much time together; the sex was getting monotonous and unsatisfying, not to mention it was nearly nonexistent at the end. I think we were getting bored. I wish he would’ve talked to me about it instead of going off and finding someone else.

  “Don’t start doubting yourself because of him. He was selfish. That’s on him. Not you.” She’s giving me her most sincere, stern tone now. She’s serious.

  “Okay. You’re right. But, Grandma, I know how you feel about Mark. He’s been good to you. Just because we broke things off doesn’t mean I’ll be upset if he still wants to talk to you or bring you lunch. I know he appreciates your advice as much as I do.”

  “I’m glad you said that.” She lets out a little sigh. “You know something. You sound lighter today. Maybe Braeden is good for you, even if it’s just as a friend. After Mark screwed up, it changed you. I hated seeing that.”

  “I feel lighter. I think I’m ready to forgive Mark. I’m sick and tired of carrying around this damn bitterness and resentment. It drags me down.”

  “Ah, doesn’t that feel good?” she asks.

  “Yeah. It does.” Not only emotionally, but it’s as if a physical burden has been lifted off my shoulders.

  “It’s been good talking to you, sweetheart.”

  “Same,” I say. “I’ll call you the next time I get the chance.”

  “Great. Oh, and one last thing before you hang up.”

  “What is it?” I ask.

  “I want you to follow your heart. Wherever it leads you and whoever it leads you to.”

  “Another gem, Grandma.”

  “I love you, Lettie. Tell your new friend that I say hello.”

  “Sure will. Love you.”

  When she hangs up, I lie here still with the phone to my ear. Not for the first time, I think of how different this trip would be if she were here. I miss her terribly.

  As much as I’d like to talk to Fiona, I decide a nap is more important. I can barely keep my eyes open. I close my eyes thinking about how happy I’ve been the past few days. Braeden is a big reason for that. I hope he does show up tonight like he said he was going
to.

  I’m awakened by a knock at my door. I roll over and look at the clock, five thirty. I’ve been asleep for over two hours. I rub my eyes and turn the bedside light on. I peek at myself in the mirror and fix my ponytail, then wipe away the mascara under my lashes. I pad to the door, look out the peephole, and find a very sexy Braeden McLoughlin standing there.

  I open the door and lean on the frame. “Hey.”

  He says nothing, but grabs me by the waist and brings his lips to mine. I melt into him and run my fingers through his hair. He doesn’t break the kiss, but moves us into my room and he kicks the door closed behind him.

  White-hot sparks of electricity ignite my body and swarms of butterflies take flight in my belly. I squeeze Braeden tighter around the waist. There’s no exhilaration like being on the back of a motorcycle as it speeds down the highway in the morning toward Cork.

  “We going too fast?” Braeden calls out from in front of me.

  “No. Not fast enough!” I yell in toward his ear.

  I can spot the grin forming on his face in the rearview mirror as he presses down on the accelerator. I let out a little shriek of excitement as we pick up speed. Patrick and Jackson hit their accelerators, too. I wasn’t sure if she’d come, but Amelia is grinning from ear to ear on the back of Jackson’s Harley.

  The day is simply perfect, from the warm fall temperatures to the cloudless sky. While I love Dublin, away from the hustle and bustle of the city is where I’m truly getting a feel for Ireland. The view of the southern Irish countryside whisks by in a haze of lush green hills as far as the eye can see. We pass picturesque old castles, monasteries, and stone circles that highlight the landscape.

  At the end of our journey, we stop for a break in front of some rolling hills where a herd of sheep are grazing. I inhale the sweet, earthy scent of heather and cut grass. Jackson takes out his phone and all five of us get together with our arms around one another to take a selfie.

  “Send that to me, please,” I say to Jackson and rattle off my phone number to him.

  “You’ve got it. How sick is this view?” Jackson spreads his arms out and looks all around him.

  “Amazing.” Braeden pats Jackson on the back. Their brotherly love is adorable, and I’m a little jealous of it. I wish I had a sibling to rely on, to turn to. But it’s just me and Grandma. There’s nobody else left in our little family.

  “How much longer?” Amelia asks.

  “A few minutes,” Patrick says.

  “Is everyone okay if we go straight to the Blarney Stone or do you want to get lunch first?” Braeden poses the question to everyone, but he’s looking at me.

  We all agree that we can go to the Blarney Stone first.

  It’s only a few miles down the road and we reach the parking area for the Blarney Castle. The grounds are impeccable and gardens well kept. But when I see the castle up ahead, adrenaline floods my system causing my mouth to go dry and my stomach twists in knots.

  “I’m not sure about going all the way up there,” Amelia says.

  Jackson comes up next to her and drapes his arm around her. “We don’t have to go up if you don’t want to.”

  “Come on, we can do it.” I don’t have a fear of heights, but I have heard the staircase gets cramped and crowded with tourists. I do tend to get claustrophobic.

  Amelia’s face gets whiter the closer we get to the massive castle. Her fear is distracting me from mine.

  “Are you okay?” Braeden’s soothing voice is in my ear. He wraps his arm around me, the simple gesture soothing me. “Your shoulders seem tense.”

  “I might be a little nervous, but I think it’s more excitement.” I do my best to keep my voice down. I don’t want Amelia to get more anxious.

  “I’ll be right here with you. I won’t let anything happen to you.” He reaches for my hand and squeezes it.

  There’s a line formed at the entrance of the castle. The group of us gets lined up and I decide to stand next to Amelia. I’d like to help keep her calm and learn about her, too.

  “This is amazing, isn’t it?” I say.

  “It’s all so beautiful. I just wish it wasn’t so high up.” Her pale brown eyes look up toward the top of the castle. She blinks a dozen times in the span of a few seconds.

  “You sure you want to do this?”

  “I’ll be fine. I can’t chicken out. I’m here with Jackson.” She turns her gaze behind her where Jackson is standing. “I want to experience this with him.”

  They aren’t friends. Something more is going on. But why hide it?

  “I understand. It’s something we all need to cross off the bucket list.”

  “Exactly,” she says.

  “How long have you known Jackson?”

  “Seems like forever. He’s been best friends with my brother since they were kids. Jackson has always been around my family.”

  “Wow. I didn’t realize.”

  “What about you and Brae?”

  The line starts moving us into the castle. The stairs are made of stone. My chest gets a little tight. I do my best to ignore it. “It’s a funny story.”

  “Why?”

  I decide the chances of her knowing Janessa are slim, and even if she knows her, what would she tell her? “Well, he used to date a friend of mine.”

  Amelia gives me a playful nudge. “You guys seem close. Are you an item?”

  How do I explain this to a stranger? Amelia has a conspiratorial aura. I like her. It’s clear she’s hiding something, maybe if I open up, she will, too. “Brae and I are enjoying each other while we’re in Ireland. Nothing more.”

  “No way.” Her voice goes up an octave, but I shush her.

  I turn and the guys are laughing and don’t seem to be paying attention to us. We go up a couple of stairs. It’s narrow, but Amelia and I stand right next to each other.

  “Yeah. My ex and I just broke up. He was cheating on me. I came to Ireland to get away. I didn’t even know Braeden was going to be here.”

  “What a nice surprise. He’s hot.” She winks at me.

  “He is, but he’s proven to be more than a pretty face.”

  “The McLoughlin brothers are good people. They may not have the best reputations with women, but they are great men.”

  “Janessa didn’t have good things to say about him,” I say.

  “Did you ask him about it?”

  Thinking back to that conversation, I remember the look on Braeden’s face. It’s clear that he makes no excuses for his past, but I could tell he thinks he worked hard on his relationship with her. “I did. And I trust what he told me. The reality is, I was so involved in my own shit, that I didn’t pay attention to what was going on with her.”

  “Are you worried about her?”

  “No. Not at all. It’s not as if I’m dating him. We’re having a vacation fling. We’re not getting caught up in it.”

  “You sure about that? You’re a smart girl. How can you not see the way he looks at you?”

  No. No. No. Just no. I’m not going there. I’ve got no place in my heart to get my hopes up. I can’t develop feelings for Braeden McLoughlin. It’s too dangerous. “I’m not denying the attraction, but neither of us are in it for a relationship. I don’t see a reason to upset Janessa.”

  “Don’t worry. Your secret is safe with me.”

  We edge our way up the stairs and find ourselves at the top. It’s a huge relief to be out of the tiny stairway. I grab Amelia’s hand and we both take in the view. Braeden comes up behind me and puts his arms around my waist and chin on my shoulder. “The view is breathtaking.”

  “I know. It’s fantastic. I love castles.”

  “I was talking about you. But, yeah. The castle is pretty cool, too.”

  I laugh and swing around so I can see his stunning face. The perfect jaw, contoured brows, and that mouth, all sexy lips that know exactly what to do to me. A slow pulse builds between my thighs. I go up on tiptoes so I can press my lips to his. The kiss is a promi
se from me to him. A promise of more. I can hardly wait until tonight to be wrapped up in his body.

  “Woah. We better stop or I’m going to take you right here in front of all the tourists,” Braeden says.

  “Don’t make promises you can’t keep.” My smile is salacious. I like pushing my limits with him.

  “Get a room, guys,” Jackson says from behind us. “We’re supposed to be kissing the Blarney Stone up here, not each other.” He laughs.

  Braeden grabs me again and plants another wet kiss on my lips. This time it’s for show, there’s tongue and pressure and depth to it. It’s meant to be playful, but it only increases the tension building in my core. When he pulls away, I’m breathless.

  “It’s our turn,” Braeden says, eyes trained on me.

  We ease to the edge of the building and there’s a staff member there to help us get into position. I didn’t realize that we were going to have to lie on our backs and extend our heads back to kiss the Blarney Stone. You have to grip two bars because the stone is behind you and it appears as though you could drop down and fall if you don’t get your body situated perfectly. There are bars underneath you, but they do nothing to assuage the pit forming in my stomach.

  “You go first,” I tell him.

  “Okay.” He gets in position with help from me and the nice Irish gentleman.

  I snap a picture with my phone. He looks hot with his head hanging backward and when his lips pucker, he turns his gaze toward me and winks. He makes anything sexy.

  It’s my turn. I take it slow and easy. Getting my body in this spot isn’t easy and my heart hammers against the back of my sternum. Braeden must see the apprehension in my face.

  “I’ve got you. I’m not going to let anything happen to you.” His warm eyes are full of honest sincerity. There’s something about him that opens me up and allows me to trust him. It might be his confidence, not just in himself but in me as well.

  I nod at him and lie on my back and tip my head back. I get a little dizzy, but Braeden squeezes my hand and I lean back one last inch and press my lips against the cold stone.

  “Got the picture. Time to get up.” Braeden pulls me toward him and I stand up and wrap my arms around his neck. Behind me, Jackson is whispering something in Amelia’s ear. She’s wringing her hands together and her foot is bouncing up and down like she doesn’t have control of it.